WHEN THE FISH ARE ALL GONE AND THE WATER IS ALL POISONED,
CAN WE EAT THE MONEY ?????
Middle of July 2005. Arizona. Hotter than Hell. Just got home from the road.
We only toured for June and half of July. While on tour the word was out
that this was the farewell tour for the Goose. That’s possible, but I can’t
say for sure. All I know (I don’t know) and I mean all I know for sure is, I
must go stand in the River. That other World. When the River calls, you
I take a few fishin’ trips every year. Usually two days, or if I’m lucky
and have some time, maybe five days. But this trip is major for me. I plan
to go for the Fall. Since the preparation and the trip to the River was
quite an adventure in itself, I think I better get that out of my system first.
I planned to leave the day after Labor Day (Sept. 6), but about two weeks
before Labor Day, something came up and wouldn’t be able to leave until
late Sept.. BUMMER !!!!!!! Well, not really, everything worked out fine. It
gave me more time to get everything together. It also gave me time to get
the fall & winter garden planted. Then I had to get the Beau Cages up. We
call them Bogards. They are large cages (approx. 8’X9’or10′) built with PBC
pipe and covered with small hole Chicken wire. This is to keep Beau out.
Beau is short for Beauregard. Beauregard is a Peacock. Beau can devour a
garden in no time. Kale is his favorite, but will eat almost anything. He
showed up here one day about three years ago, and decided this was home. He
was young and small, but now large and very colorful. Love them feathers
Beau. They tie some nice Beau flies, and he molts every year you know.
When we are gone we leave Beau in charge and he guards the place. You
don’t want to mess with Beau. He’s the last of the Raptors you know.
Where I’m headed there are no stores, so you must have food, water and
whatever you may need to stay for a month or two. It took a while to
organize food and all the accessories for the trip.
As for my fishin’ “STUFF”. I had been tying some flies since I got home
from the tour in July. Mainly tying Muddlers and Skaters (surface flies),
and a few small wet flies, fished on a floating line. As far as I’m
concerned, (in Steelhead fishin’), they only make sinking Heads and sink
tips lines for winter fishin’. Some may disagree. Most of my Muddlers were
tied with feathers from Beauregard la Peacock. They’re Beau Muddlers.
Fishin’ with floaters on the surface you don’t lose many flies. You can
travel the river incredibly light. All I need is my favorite Rod for
Dry lining (so it’s called). A 10′, 7 weight old IMX Loomis, a good Reel with
plenty backing, a Wulff Triangle taper 8 weight fly line, a 10′ to 12′
leader with 6 pound tippet, some fly floatent and a small box of flies. Now
all we need are the fish.
I noticed that occasionally while getting it all organized I would feel
the woozies a little. This is caused by pollen in the Spring or Fall
usually. It affects most people’s Sinus. But with me, it attacks my inner
ear causing Vertigo. If it’s bad, things never stop spinning and almost
impossible to go anywhere or do anything. I have found an herbal cure that
usually works wonders. It’s called Southwest mixture and available at your
local Health food stores or Vitamin Houses. If they don’t have it, they can
order it for you. I also know there’s a Southeast mixture and probably a
mixture for the rest of the country. It totally works wonders for me and
Quick. By the time I got to the Health food store, they were sold out. Since
I was leaving in a day or two, there was no time to order any.
Finally got everything together and my Green Van (“old yeller”) loaded.
Told Beau good-by and be sure to guard the place. Was feeling a little
woozie that morning when I left. The wind was blowing very hard from south
to north. That’s good. North is where I’m headed, so this should help my gas
mileage. Especially now that gas is $75.00 a quart. and I don’t get very good
gas mileage. Old Yeller is a camper Van with an extender top. It also has a
stove, refrigerator, sink, bed and plenty room for storage. Home Sweet Home.
My route is north to Flagstaff, to Page, and cross Lake Powell, to Salt
Lake City, to Boise, Idaho and into Oregon. Just north of Flagstaff the wind
shifted and was coming from the west. It turned into a dust storm and I
thought it would blow the Van over. The woozies are getting stronger. After
I crossed the Colorado River at Lake Powell, the road turns west across
southern Utah directly into the wind. It was so strong I could only get up
to 55mph at times. When I got to Kanab, Utah and turned north again, the
wind subsided. Damn!!!!! Made it through that one. Kinda like flying a Space
Ship on Acid.
The woozies were getting worse and it was becoming a real challenge to
drive at times. Main thing, no sudden moves with the head or it would really
spin. If I can only make it to Panquitch, Ut., which is where I usually
stay, it may be gone by morning. Panquitch is a very quaint little Cowboy
western town, probably built by Mormon Ranchers years ago. It’s very near
the entrance to Bryce Canyon Nat. Park, so the scenery is beautiful. You
also drive by the Birthplace of Butch Cassidy. The old homestead is just off
to the side of the road. I don’t think the State wants to recognize it as a
Historical place, because he was such a bad crook. Or was he a good one?
Probably would have made a great politician. Oh well, we have plenty
Made it to Panquitch, same Motel as always and same room as last time.
I’ve traveled this route from Arizona to Seattle for many years. I was too
woozie to go out for dinner, so I just snacked in my room and laid low for
the evening. Everything should be ok by morning. I am about three hours from
Salt Lake City.
Got up next morning and the woozies are still with me. My main concern
now is driving through Salt Lake with all the heavy traffic. And it’s about
100 miles through Salt Lake now that all the other towns have grown together
with it. Just a few years ago it was such a quaint little city, but over the
last few years it has been invaded, just like everywhere else. Head for the
Hills boys, the People are a comin’.
At every little town south of Salt Lake I would stop and look for a
Health food store. No luck. Now I’m starting to panic. The vertigo is not
letting up and seems to be getting worse. I’m sure there would be a few
Health food stores in Salt Lake, if I can just get there. Also one of my old
fishin’ buddies, Dec Hogan, from Washington, who moved to Salt Lake a few
years ago was my hope. I know I wouldn’t be able to drive around town
looking for a store, so I called Dec. I was in luck, because Dec had the day
off work and was home alone working on a book he’s writing about Steelhead
fishing. The book should be out by summer 2006. Title so far, “A Passion for
Steelhead”. OK Dec, now we are even.
I told Dec what I needed and he called back and said he had found the
mixture and would meet me at a certain exit. We met, I took the mixture
immediately. We visited for about an hour. Great to see Dec since I had not
seen him in a year or two. It was 3:00 pm and had to be on my way to get
ahead of RUSH HOUR. I left Dec and was definitely feeling better. HALLELUJAH
Now I would like to make it to Boise tonight. The woozies are better and I’m
Oh No !! I’m about an hour and a half out of Salt Lake and the woozies
are coming back. Had to stop for a spell so I got the bottle of mixture out
and when I read the label on the bottle, it said “for Salt Lake area”.
Oh No… Only made it to Twin Falls, Idaho. Was getting very dizzy. Even had
trouble checking into the Motel. Now I am starting to Panic. What do I do??
Next morning I get up and the woozies are still there. I finally get on
the road and am driving towards Boise, very carefully. My Daughter in
Seattle knew of a large Health food store in Boise that should have the
mixture. The store is right down town Boise. So while my Daughter is looking
for the phone number, my wife (who is at daughters in Seattle) is on the
phone with me, trying to give me directions to the store. I am spinning so
bad now, there is no way I can drive into town. So they found the exit where
I should leave the freeway. They tell me to find a place at the exit to
leave my Van and take a Cab to the store. I guess that will work. I’m still
about an hour from Boise when my wife calls me with the bad news that the
store doesn’t carry the mixture. Don’t Panic, Don’t Stress, just keep
drivin’. this was the last hope for finding the mixture.
About an hour past Boise I stopped for gas in Ontario, Oregon. I looked
down the street and saw a Wal-Mart. DAMN!!!! They carry all the drugs in
the Universe. Mabye I need drugs. I go in the store and this gentleman who
seems to know a hell of a lot about drugs says, take some of these and some
of these. One was Dramamine (for sea sickness & ect.). I took it and drove
on to La Grande, Oregon which is my jump off point from the freeway. Back
roads and mountains from here. Must say the dizzies are a little better.
Must be da drugs… Checked into a Motel and tried to take the other stuff I
got at Wal-Mart. Couldn’t do it, it taste so horrible like chemicals it must
have had half of Exon Oil Co. in it. No wonder gas is so expensive. Anyway,
next morning I’m feeling a little better. Maybe it’s because I’m getting
near the River. Only about three hours from here.
It was a beautiful drive for the next two hours through mountains, up
rivers & streams through beautiful valleys. Just as I was coming into the
little town of Enterprise, (keeping the trip interesting), I had a Migraine
headache coming on. On No!! blind spots and all. Oh Well, just part of the
trip I guess. I pull into the parking lot of a Safeway store, took some
Asprin and slept for an hour. Woke up and it’s gone. Head was a little sore.
I filled up with gas because next stop is the River and I don’t know if they
have gas down in that area or not, and that’s over an hour away. When I get
there I find there is gas at one place. $3.60 per gallon. If you had to haul
gas into there, you would understand why.
Left Enterprise and drove for about an hour to the top of the Grand Ronde
Canyon. Awesome!! Just Awesome. Six or seven miles down the winding narrow
canyon road to the River. A little place called Bogans. There’s a restaurant,
Cabins, boat launch and trailer camping. Wow!! And there’s the River, river,
And that was the Trip there. Now the Fishin’ Starts..